Looking Through A Glass Darkly.......
Tomorrow is ‘THE DAY’. Not just ‘the day’ offered in small letters, but
'THE DAY'.
January 18 of last year was another. It was then that I learned to
cautiously walk along an unfamiliar path.... unsure of my footing,
but tomorrow I will know if that path will remain the same
(pebbles or not, it's familiar now)..... or if it will crumble in an instant.
The time will be 3 o’clock. No, probably 3:15 or 3:20.
We will enter the small room of Dr. Stuart. My husband will be
surrounded by a core of those who love him.
We have waited almost 2 weeks for 'THE DAY',
but we will pretend to be unhurried as more chairs are
brought into the room for all to sit and hear.
The Doctor will gather his papers and briefly review them,
there will be soft idle chat...an eye that catches
another......hands that touch in quiet encouragement....somberness.....
I will think then as I have before....Is he really reviewing?
Or kindly gathering his thoughts while searching for
the most suitable words......pulling them from his memory
....same story, different faces; the sadder side of a wondrous profession.
I will wait for the Doctor to speak, but my eyes will be straining to see the
screen for any words that let me know.
Oh God....my forever Father... have I told you
how much I hate cancer?
I loathe what it does to those I love, yet in my little corner
I remain defiant and refuse to grant it capitals.
It is a small letter word that thrives on its own power;
a ruthless dictator of smaller hosts.
But it is still today and I am looking through a glass darkly.
Tomorrow is THE DAY and I must wait..........
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