Ms.Sheila

Father's Day

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Father's Day is over, even though we all know

that for you, every day is really 'Your' day.

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Still, as the celebrated Day grew closer, I waited for

someone to come and whisper "What are we going

to do for Father's Day?"

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.....But no one came.

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Can you see what you have done???

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No voices asked for paper and no hands furtively

worked behind closed doors preparing a Father's

Day card that announced their affection.

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.....not one

Can you see what you have done???

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Then on Father's Day.....there was pleasure as

we dined out and the children were delighted not to

have to worry about what they could or could not have,

although the familiar look that sadly questioned

Is this one too expensive?" seems ingrained.

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....on every face.

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Can you see what you have done???

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Then off to church where we watched a video on

the importance of a father. I was stunned as I watched

it unfold. My mind went back in time when our son

was so little....so fearfully wide-eyed of you!

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Did you not recognize yourself in this video?

You must have!

How could you not?

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Can you see what you have done???

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At home I quietly asked what you thought of the video.

"It was great!" you replied, nonchalantly lifting your head

from the newspaper for a moment.

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.....And I know you did not see.....you did not hear.....

not even for a moment.

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Don't you know you could have moulded him with your love?

Now at 36, our tense, nail biting son lives at home, yet

doesn't live at all....and I still cringe each time you call him

from your chair with your unwarranted military voice.....

and he answers.

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Even now he waits for you.....

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Can you see what you have done???

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My daughter telephones. "Mom, I tried to find dad a Father's

Day card, but I couldn't find one that suited him. They all

say things like 'You're the best!' and I just can't say that. I know

dad loves the baby, so I'm giving him a card from her, as it is

easier than finding one from me. Is that ok?"

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Can you see what you have done???

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What of our other son who has been with us for over 15 years?

Do you know he still struggles with his feelings for you

even though he is now a man? He tells me "It was easy planning

mother's day for you, because we all wanted to. But I don't feel

like planning anything for him and I feel badly. Now it seems

I just don't talk to him......I try hard to remember the good times

so that I don't get mad at him now."

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Can't you see what you have done???

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I ask him to tell me what the good times were and he does.

I am sad, thinking "Those are your good memories?

He wants to love you and should have no guilt....yet like the others,

he carries the weight of guilt that should be yours.

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Can you see what you have done???

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.....and then there are the younger ones. They are still children, but

already you have lost them.....even though at one time their hearts

were yours for the taking.

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Can you see what you have done???

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As for me? I prepared for you a special day because I still care.

It seems your weakness draws me back

over and over again and I assume your load

as I carry my own.

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Have you noticed?

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Do you care? Perhaps you do.....perhaps you don't.

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I have no faith in you or your heart....but your hair?

That is important to you......that I do know!

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Can you see what you have done?

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No....

I know you did not see....

You did not hear.....

Not even for a moment.

***

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